If you are in a committed relationship, moving in with your partner might sound like a walk in the park. However, this cannot be further from the truth. Nowadays, many couples decide to live in sin, before they officially agree to tie the knot. That can be a great test for one’s relationship, before taking the next step towards marriage. However, there are many things that should be put into perspective before you start sharing your residence with your loved one.
Are you considering moving in with your partner?
Before you start apartment hunting, chasing down perfect houses or picking out cool new furniture, ask yourself why to do you want to share the same roof with your significant other. There are many reasons why you might consider moving in with your partner. You might be spending six nights a week with your partner already and the next logical step for both of you is to unite in one home. That is a pretty good reason to start living with your guy or girl, especially if you and your partner are on the same page.
Here are some motivating factors that shouldn’t be a good reason to move in with your partner:
- You need to cut down your living expenses and by splitting them in half with your partner you will solve your money problems.
- You are trying to force your partner to take the next step with you and you think that by moving in together, he/she will realize it as well.
- Keeping a closer eye on your partner.
- Your current home’s lease is up and that must be a sign that you should start playing house with your loved one.
All reasons mentioned above (there are many more) are not horrific if you are ready to shack up with your partner, but if they are your primary motivators, you seriously need to reconsider your decision.
You must have the “money talk”
Once you decide that you want to move in with your partner, under no circumstances should you have any financial secrets between each other. Besides knowing each other’s monthly earnings, you also need to share your credit debt, college loans and anything similar that can harshly impact your financial situation. In addition to regular expenses, moving into a new place is pricy and is a strain on your budget. Plus, there are always some costs that you are unable to predict.
Red flags when moving in with your partner
If you are not comfortable having this talk or you are afraid to address this with your partner, it is certainly a red flag. Many relationships, even marriages have ended, because of problems caused by money or lack of it. Therefore, if you are not ready to have the talk about money, reconsider moving in together, at least for the time being.
Plan your future together
In the end, moving in with your partner is over. It was a major success and now you are living under the same roof. You did your part. You had all the serious talks, you made sure you knew all the tips and tricks when moving in with your lover and now you live in the most perfect apartment with the most loving person. So, what comes next? I don’t know is not a good answer in that stage of your life. You must make sure that you and your partner have the same or at least similar views of your combined future together as a couple.
Look for some answers
Here are some questions that you should know the answers to and if your answers don’t match with your partner, then you might have a reason to worry.
- Do you want to have kids and if you do how many?
- Do you want to live in the same place for an extended period or you would like to move somewhere else in the future?
- Would you like to get married? If you want to get married, do you want to have a wedding? If the answer is yes, what kind of wedding would you like to have?
- Are you both pet friendly people?
These are just a few tricky questions for couples that are in a serious relationship. Of course, there are many more.
Take care of each other
Make sure you take care of your relationship. This goes for all couples. It might be just a bit easier to fall into a routine when you are living with somebody, but this can happen to anybody in any situation. Be spontaneous, make sure your partner knows how much they mean to you, surprise him/her with a small but kind gesture, etc. In the end, a small and simple gesture can be oh so big. Everybody needs to know that they are loved and needed. In addition to being spontaneous and understanding, try to manage your stress and do your best not to transfer it on to your partner. No need for both of you to feel like your hair is on fire. Find ways to manage your stress.
What if moving in with your partner doesn’t work out
Hopefully, this will never happen to you and your partner. You might become one of those couples that everybody wants to be. Just in case, make sure you have at least a small safety net that you can bank. In case things start going south. I say this, unfortunately out of personal experience, there is nothing worst when you are breaking up and at the same time you are jobless and houseless. Moving out and breaking up at the same time can be super stressful for anybody.
This article is not supposed to kill your mood and optimism if you are in love and you want to live with your significant other. It is just a checklist of things that you might want to investigate before you move in with your partner and a few other things that you shouldn’t forget in the process. After all, moving in with your loved one can be the best thing that ever happened to you, if done the proper way and with good timing. Remember to communicate, be kind and understanding and show your love as much as you can.